Humor for Writers – The Big Squeeze

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet.
The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.
One day John Storywriters came into the bar, with a scrawny fellow wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit who said in a tiny squeaky voice “I’d like to try the bet”

After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the scrawny fellow.
But the crowd’s laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the fellow “What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?”

“Not at all,” answered the fellow, “I work for a vanity press posing as self-publishing services.”

And that is how John Storywriter discovered he was being screwed by his “publisher”.